i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
