and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
