its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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