I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
bring money and cleavage
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
