Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i've created a new STD.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
