i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
