seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
