Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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