Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize