im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish I only lived at night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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