so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
