Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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