You made me cry and you don't even care
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
