tell your sister to shave her snatch
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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