This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
