Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
two words: eviction party
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
