Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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