I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ketchup is God's man juice
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
