what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
