You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
