Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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