if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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