Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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