she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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