I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
