Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
