you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
