Im at strip club and am horny
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
