I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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