a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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