I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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