Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
