i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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