The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
