after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
