Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just gift wrapped bread.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
