he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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