Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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