hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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