I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hippo gnu deer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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