I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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