imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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