btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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