And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
