Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
