I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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