is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
