I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
