He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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