Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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