Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
